If you spend so much time looking at your own Facebook page that the change to the “timeline” format upsets you, you need to re-evaluate your choices in life.
What’s up with the crazy fuckers in this town? Yesterday, on the Plateau, I saw a hipster wearing what looked like a down jacket. In 30-degree weather! What the fuck??? Even if the jacket wasn’t stuffed with feather down it’s still a long-sleeved cold(er) weather outerwear. The only thing wearing something like that would make sense is if he took out whatever the jacket was originally stuffed with and replaced it with ice.
And now, I just saw a woman in a motorized wheelchair. Normally that would mean that she is too much of an invalid to walk. Except that she was sitting in that thing in a yoga lotus position. I don’t know about you but I, as a person in relatively good shape, can’t do more than a few minutes in a lotus position without starting to feel like the cartilage in my joints is being slowly pulled out in a twisting-like motion with white-hot pliers. Seriously, what the fuck?
Fixed-gear bicycles, colloquially known as “fixies”, seem to be the new yuppie and hipster affectation. I see them all the time on the plateau this year chained to a pole and being pushed on the side by the proud owner. Just this evening I saw no less than three people walking on the sidewalk and pushing their fixies next to them. In other words, these bikes are being used in all manner except for being ridden. And there is a good reason for that: IT’S FUCKING HARD! Fixed-gear bicycles used to be the exclusive domain of athletes (track cycling is an Olympic event) and real hard-core cycling afficionados and bike messengers. In my younger wayward days I was involved for a time in track cycling. Riding fixies requires not only to be in a fantastic physical shape but have a great deal of cycling skill. Doing so in the city makes things so much more complicated. Reason number 1: NO BRAKES! Soon enough though, those bikes will be forgotten and will gather dust next to fedora hats, in-line skates, capri pants, and first-generation iPads. Unlike those items though, fixies are a magnitude apart. Not the least because of the sometimes exorbitant cost. So how did it come to that? Why? It would seem that it’s not just consumerism. Or rather consumerrism is more than what most people think it is. What do you call the bahaviour when a person wants something and just gets it without thinking of the reasons or cares to keep using the acquisition? That’s right: we call such behaviour childish. That childish behaviour seems to be the norm. No one seems to want to put in the effort. Children aren’t tought anymore to put in the work. Everyone gets a prize. I think that might be one of the reasons ADD and ADHD were overdiagnosed so much in the earlier years. Those who were pushed hard by their parents were called to explain the outlandish behaviour of the generation that was never told “No! You can’t have that.” And that carries over.
Just a little earlier, I stopped by the corner depanneur to pick up a carton of milk. The older Asian gentleman ringed up the cost on the register: $3.65. I pulled the change out of my pocket: 2 twonies and 3 quaters. As I don’t like to carry a lot of metal in my pockets I wanted to get back the least number of coins. So I gave him everything I had in my hand. Chances are that at this point a good number of you, my imaginary readers, will think my actions made no sense. The Asian shopkeeper, however, reacted without even having to use the calculatory capabilities of the cash register: he immediately handed to me a loonie and a 10-cent coin. Sadly, most people in the service industry would be completely bewildered by having been given $4.75 for a $3.65 bill. Needless to say, the mathematics education in this country is a disgrace. School systems seem to favour freedom of thinking and arts rather than structure and rigid thinking of science. Probably because it’s easier to hand a kids a bunch of crayons and tell them to be themselves. Our grandparents were told to make something of themselves. Now, the kids are told they are already perfect. So those kids who are now young adults think that the first good conclusion they come to is already perfect.
The province is swept these days by wave of students protesting higher costs of education. Why isn’t anyone protesting the ridiculous quality of education? Isn’t anyone questing the dubious teaching technique of relying solely on the transparencies that are given to teachers by the textbook publishers when their textbook is chosen. At which point will someone wake up and say “Hey! Is it at all possible that availability of those transparencies and slides are a criteria for the selection of the textbook? Was this or that textbook chosen because now the professor doesn’t need to put in long hours to prepare course material?” How come no one is protesting the horrible deal reached by universities with Access Copyright which is certain to increase student costs and set back the progress by tying it up in horrible regulations? Where are the protests against ACTA, Bills C-11, C-30, C-38? How many people even know about these pieces of legislation?
What happened with all the forward thinking? Where are the grounbreakers? The next generation of inventors, scientists, engineers is mostly thinking about inventing the next iPod or iPad. Where are the dreamers who want to cure cancer, break light speed, invent ion propulsion, or just make a car that gets 100 miles per gallon? The green movement is afraid that humanity is going to make itself obsolete by killing our environment. It seems just as likely that the coming wave of “must-have” gadgets might be our extinction event just as well.
I am so fucking sick of this pseudo-populist bullshit. Everybody is so upset over SOPA and PIPA now that suddenly they couldn’t access Wikipedia but where the fuck was everyone last week or last month? 8 million people accessed their US representative’s/senator’s information on Wikipedia. Couldn’t they have done so last before? H.R.3261 was introduced on October 26, 2011. That’s almost three months ago. S.968 was introduced on May 12, 2011. That’s over eight months ago! Where has all that outrage has been until now?!?!?! SOPA and PIPA are basically this winter’s “Occupy” trend/fad.
And why are people in Canada so worked up about it? This isn’t even Canadian legislation. Has anyone you know bothered calling or writing their local MP to protest Bill C-11? How about the copyright/IP section in TPP? Or ACTA? Does anyone even know what these acronyms stand for?
Maddox is right: http://maddox.xmission.com. So what’s going to happen is that eventually all the self-empowered sheeple will end up losing interest and the politicians on the payroll of the special interest groups will eventually push through all the horrible legislation they want, by attaching it to other bills, just like Senator Jon Kyl has done with the Port Security Bill. Tiddly-fucking-do!
At $10.50, this is the most overpriced beer ever. Thank you Bell Centre and especially the Molson family.
“NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Rest easy, Twinkie lovers: Hostess Brands, the storied American manufacturer of snack cakes, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy Wednesday, but said it will continue to churn out Ho Hos, Ding Dongs and other iconic products.”
So what headline did CNN choose for this article, you might ask. Well, ask no more because here it is:
“Twinkies will keep coming“
What I really want to know is why do coaches in all the interviews wear track suits or some kind of sports clothing. I can understand athletes doing that: they just came from practice. But what the fuck kind of exercises did the coach do? Bobby Knight used to throw chairs and really exert himself but that’s about it. The most physical thing the coach has to do is get on his knees and blow the team owner.
American Cheese Society are having their annual
cheese orgy get-together in Montreal’s Palais des Congrès this year. For $85 (plus taxes, one assumes) you can go to the show and eat all the samples you can handle. Good. Who doesn’t love cheese? But $85??? For half that amount I can get enough Mozzarella at Costco to get me curled up in the foetal position in my bed by the end of the day, moaning and crying and begging. “Oh Goooooood! Awwwww…. I proooooooomise…. I will neeeeeever do anything like this agaaaaaaaaaaaaain…. Ohhhhhhh…. Please make it stooooooooop….”
This whole dating thing is making me think about Jesus Christ. Firstly, I’m just as celibate. And secondly, even Christ wasn’t rejected as much as me and he was one outlandish dude! Maybe I should claim to be a son of god… But which one?
Another fun filled night with dreams about hate crimes, FBI protection, natural disasters, burning atmosphere, and quite possibly the end of the world. Interesting, multidimensional characters some of whom are real life people. Am I the only person who dreams in Hollywood blockbusters? I’m going to start writing down my dreams, I think. Maybe I’ll get a development deal or something…