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American Cheese Society are having their annual cheese orgy get-together in Montreal’s Palais des Congrès this year. For $85 (plus taxes, one assumes) you can go to the show and eat all the samples you can handle. Good. Who doesn’t love cheese? But $85??? For half that amount I can get enough Mozzarella at Costco to get me curled up in the foetal position in my bed by the end of the day, moaning and crying and begging. “Oh Goooooood! Awwwww…. I proooooooomise…. I will neeeeeever do anything like this agaaaaaaaaaaaaain…. Ohhhhhhh…. Please make it stooooooooop….”

Another fun filled night with dreams about hate crimes, FBI protection, natural disasters, burning atmosphere, and quite possibly the end of the world. Interesting, multidimensional characters some of whom are real life people. Am I the only person who dreams in Hollywood blockbusters? I’m going to start writing down my dreams, I think. Maybe I’ll get a development deal or something…

I saw something earlier and wanted to take a picture but the image was gone too fast. And I looked around to see if someone else had seen what I saw but since all my friends are imaginary, they weren’t much fucking help. What I’m pretty sure I saw was a mangy-looking bald guy with a longish many biker beard wearing the signature orange and black Harley-Davidson leather jacket, accompanied by equally biker looking friends (all in all there were two males and two females) driving a 2009 electric blue Nissan Versa. It did sound like a motorcycle though. They had to have had tinkered with a muffler. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. It is simply mind boggling! To what level of self-hate does one biker (let alone a group of them) have to sink in order to get inside a complete dork-mobile? And I know that Nissan Versa is a dork-mobile because I used to drive one. I did used to drive a Versa until I decided that it’s just too bad I don’t look enough like a fucking yuppy asshole so I bought a front-wheel drive mid-size SUV. Silver coloured.

You know it’s time for a change when you start wondering about nutritional benefits of cyanide.